One Year Since Diagnosis
February 20, 2025 was the 1 year anniversary of my TNBC (Triple Negative Breast Cancer) diagnosis. So, it seemed like a good time for an update! Anthony and I are very thankful to be on this side of things, and it's sobering to look back. Once in a while a startling picture of myself bald with no facial hair will pop up, and I'm starkly transported back to those long days. In the moment, it was just life as we knew it. Now, reflecting back on it, it's a humbling reminder of how fragile life is and how dependent we are on Jesus for everything.
Whether I "feel" vulnerable and fragile or not, the reality of my need and dependence on God remains the same. Oddly enough, I found it almost easier to trust him in my extreme weakness than now that I feel "stronger." Maybe because cancer felt completely overwhelming and out of my league, but for some reason, I feel like I should be able to handle daily, run-of-the-mill struggles on my own. In truth, I'm not meant to handle anything alone. I still need his strength, his counsel, his forgiveness, his wisdom, his perspective, his patience, his tenderness, and his sustenance for even my next breath! I will never outgrow my need for him, and am not made to live life without him. O Lord, help my heart to run more quickly to you moment by moment in the daily-ness of life!
Overall, I'm feeling well these days. I have more energy. I'm going to the gym 3-4 times a week to walk and stretch, increasing my range of motion. I'm looking forward to a Livestrong class (that’s geared toward cancer recovery) at the YMCA starting in March. I've enjoyed rejoining the women's Bible study at church and connecting with friends. Anthony and I even made a trip to Florida this past week, where we worked remotely and visited some family. We couldn’t get enough of that sunshine! Going from 80 degrees back to 18 degrees in Philly was brutal!
A fun new part of our routine at home is that Anthony and I have started cooking dinner together! After the past year of treatment, jumping back into meal planning and prep became a major stressor for me, so Anthony graciously offered to help. He’s found it to be a great way to unwind at the end of the day, and we both love sharing this time together. And joining a CSA co-op is keeping us on our toes to come up with creative recipes for the (sometimes surprising) produce we receive!
I’m still experiencing post-treatment symptoms like mouth sores, hot flashes (from chemo-induced menopause), occasional neuropathy/buzzing in my feet, lingering nerve pain at the surgery site, and range of motion tension/pain in my chest and shoulders. These things may be temporary or more permanent—only time will tell. And something I wasn’t prepared for is how cold implants are in these winter months! With no natural tissue to warm them up, they significantly affect my body temperature, and my shivering often contributes to neck and head tension. Thankfully, some wonderful friends gifted me a battery-powered heated sweatshirt, and it’s been a game-changer!
I have several follow-up appointments coming up this week and next, including an MRCP scan this Thursday afternoon 2/27 to examine my dilated bile duct. (An MRCP is an MRI scan to specifically examine the biliary and pancreatic systems). My GI doc is not expecting to find anything but wants to make sure there are no pre-cancerous cysts present. We’d appreciate your prayers that there is nothing to find!
I was encouraged by Psalm 34:1-10 this morning:
I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together!
I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.
Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
There’s a lot I love about this passage, but I was especially encouraged by the picture of the angel of the Lord camping around me. Dale Ralph Davis brings clarity to what the Bible means when it talks about the Angel of the Lord:
The Angel of Yahweh is how Yahweh appears when he wants specially to manifest himself to his people… The Angel of Yahweh is Yahweh Himself with his working clothes on.
I love that—God with working clothes on. The God who camps out with me to protect and guard me even in the dark night. Just as the nation of Israel in the Old Testament wandered around and pitched their tents in the wilderness. God was always there, pitching his tent with theirs (quite literally with a mobile tent for a tabernacle). Jesus then came to pitch his tent with ours when he left heaven to live (and die) on earth. And God continues to “camp out” with his people today. Making a way where we can’t see a way. Remembering this picture of our faithful God reminds me that I’m never alone fending for myself; he is there protecting and sheltering me even in the dark of night.
I was also struck with the truth that those who fear the Lord “lack no good thing.” He is always watchful, making sure I have what I need. He’s not stingy or mean or inept. He loves to take care of his own—he’s committed to it! And he proved it by giving up his very life for the salvation we didn’t even know we needed. Now, alive in heaven in all his power and glory, he still delights to meet the needs of his people. I must remember this when I feel like I’m lacking or I’m afraid of the future—will I have enough strength, faith, money, endurance…? (You name it, my heart fears many things on a daily basis!) Without him, I’m in trouble. But with him, I don’t need to fear. He will make sure I have what I need. “For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you” (Isaiah 41:13).
I hope these truths encourage you on your own road as they do me. Thank you for your continued prayers as our journey post-cancer continues.
Love,
Sarah (and Anthony)
Pictures: (1) A walk on the beach in FL this past week. You can’t see the sun in this picture, but we had beautiful, sunny days! (2) We had a wonderful visit with Sarah’s sister and family in FL.